Gave The Pants a Chance

Happy Pants Day, everyone!
As I said I would, today I wore pants to church with other Mormon feminists around the world. It is important to me that this dialogue happens in a way that is meaningful, respectful and cooperative.

I know what I want Mormon Feminism to look like; I want it to look like me. I want it to look like my mom, and my husband, and all the people I love and respect who both love the church and believe that women have more to offer. I want it to look like a really excellent ward where everyone is trying and no one is perfect. I knew that if I was quiet today, I would regret it. If we want that vision to happen, Mormon Feminism has to leave the sanctuary of the Internet and become alive in our wards and in our stakes.

When I walked out my front door today, I didn't know what to expect. I knew what I wanted Pants Day to look like. I wanted it to look like me going to church, with no real or significant differences from other Sundays. I wanted today to be an excellent and uplifting Sabbath.
And it was. Though i was the only pants-wearing lady there, I received no glares, no questions. I felt courageous because I was going to church on my terms. I was determined to be honest and open about my faith, my questions, my insights, and my life. It felt good.
Even my two interviews to renew my temple recommend went well, without a comment about my pants. I was grateful. But because I wore them, I felt strong. I felt, silly or not, that wearing pants today allowed me to be more deliberate in how I answered and how I conducted myself. They were a constant reminder that I get to choose much of my religious experience.

I was on my very best church behavior. I sang my best, smiled at my ward members, walked confidently down the halls, and even commented when I would normally be silent. Today, I had decided to be a better than before.
It was surprisingly liberating. I never felt suppressed as a strictly skirt-wearing woman, but today I felt more free than I have in a long time. I felt modest - for the first time in a long while, I didn't worry about where my skirt should be, or how to cross my ankles. No matter how I moved, I was modest and warm. It was a pleasant, unexpected change.
I didn't expect to really enjoy wearing pants to church. I thought it would feel weird; I'm really a skirt girl, and I feel reverent in a dress. I felt no less reverent in pants. That was a shock as well.
At the end of the day, I realized that I liked it. I liked not being cold, I liked being dressy, I liked being modest and professional.
I had already decided, subconsciously, that this was something I would need to do again.
And then the strangest thing happened. I met a woman in my ward, who came up to me and asked my name. She told me hers, and gave me the biggest hug I'd gotten in a long while. And then she said as she opened her coat, in a voice that was sincere, proud and confiding, "I wore purple today".
We both smiled, and my heart felt like it would burst. For that one moment, I knew clearly that she was the biggest reason I had worn pants today. Whatever reasons I had before, and they were many, all pale in the face of two souls being a little less lonely in the Kingdom of God.




What a beautiful sight.

Shootings

After such a terrible incident, my thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families.

Why do things like this happen? I've spent years trying to understand human behavior, but this is beyond me; way, way beyond my understanding.

Why I Will Be Wearing Pants to Church on Sunday Aka Where I Come Out As a Mormon Feminist

There has been a lot of commotion about this business of wearing pants to church this Sunday. It has exploded in ways I would never have imagined, and all kinds of people are saying all kinds of terrible things I think they will live to regret.

I will be wearing pants to church on Sunday. I have never, ever, in my whole life worn pants to Sunday services before. I don't particularly like pants, but if there is one thing we have learned from all of this it is that it was never about the pants.

I will be wearing pants because I believe that it is time to talk about women's issues in the Church. They are there, and it is time for us all to acknowledge them, and start to rethink how women are treated and utilized within our religious setting.

I will be wearing pants because there might be a woman in my new ward wearing pants, and I don't want her (whoever she is) to be alone.

I will be wearing pants because there might not be anyone else in my new ward who does, and I feel those women in the church need to be represented by someone who understands, sympathizes, agrees with, and can explain the issues.

I will be wearing pants because I have felt excluded, patronized, ignored, and my insights undervalued within the church because of my sex.

I will be wearing pants because this movement needs faces.

I will be wearing pants because it is time for Mormon Feminists to stop hiding on the internet, but to sit boldly in the pews and take an active roll as members of their wards. They can't do that if they feel divided.

I will be wearing pants because it is time I started being honest with myself and the people around me about my Feminist convictions.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because they are modest.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because it will remind well-meaning people that the church is full of all kinds of people, and the Savior would have them be charitable and kind.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because it is December, and it is kind of cold.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because they look nice.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because that is the time when we, as members, do the business of the church.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because dressing in a gender-neutral way helps me to not be objectified because of my sex.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because I cannot in good conscience sit by and watch well-meaning people say hurtful things in their zealotry to their brothers and sisters.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because standing up for people who do not have a voice is the right thing to do.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because it will remind me of the faith and courage it takes to follow the Savior.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because I feel in my heart that God wants me to represent women who have been hurt by our cultural norms.

I will be wearing pants because it is time to show mainstream Mormons that Mormon Feminists look just like everyone else - lots of faith, lots of courage, lots of insights, lots of flaws and lots of imperfections.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because I love the church.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because I have a vision of the future, where women serve in a greater capacity, and the entire church is blessed.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because it is time to bridge the gap between all members of the church.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because I believe spirituality is independent of sex.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because this is a small way I can stand up to be counted.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because I believe that God answers prayer.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because there is a place for everyone in our pews, and no one should ever feel left out.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because there is more than one way to be a proper LDS woman.

I will be wearing pants on Sunday because I believe a woman's place is not on a pedestal, but pulling a handcart, lifting the feeble knees, and drying tears.

I will be wearing pants because it's time you all knew that I am a Mormon Feminist.

When I wear pants, I'm not asking for the priesthood, or for a role identical to my husband's. I'm not asking for a prophetess, or a major change in doctrine. I'm just asking to be understood, and to be allowed to share my personal insights without chastisement. I'm just asking to talk and think and consider together how we can make a better world. I'm asking to be trusted to listen to what the Lord tells me. I'm asking you to trust my husband to be spiritual independent of priesthood. I'm asking that women be given a voice in the church that is proportional to our membership. I'm asking for understanding when my heart is broken. I'm asking for equal training, equal attention, and equal respect. Most of all, I'm asking for permission to be myself with you.

You see, it was never about the pants.